This month RTL launched a new TV-program called ‘Far away from Home’ (Ver van Huis). Four Dutch families that have very little interaction with each other in the Netherlands, retreat to live with the Amish, a strong religious community in North America. Besides their strong connection to the Bible and their pacifism, the Amish are characterized by their close family ties and sober lifestyle. They do not believe in modern technology and therefore avoid many of its devices. The use of such technologies is believed to increase inequality and jealousy among individuals, causing the current ties within the community to weaken (Diebel, 2014).
These characteristics are exactly the reasons why Angela Groothuizen (once a famous Dolly Dot) takes the Dutch families on a ‘trip’ to these communities. Among the Amish they are forced to live without smartphones, internet or television and come closer together. It makes me wonder: in what way is the usage of modern technologies related to the current family relationships?
Technology is omnipresent and we can not deny that today’s generations do not know a life without it. In general, the new technologies are associated with benefits that make our life easier. However, possible downsides are increasingly being addressed over the years. Within the realm of families, this evenly applies.
On the bright side: it brings us together
Thanks to modern technology, people can always get in touch with each other. Whenever we can not see each other physically, plenty of social media platforms still facilitates easy communication. This also has its effects within families. Applications like Skype and WhatsApp enable relatives that have to spent long time periods apart, to still feel very close to each other (Hallab, 2016). Some even argue that the rise of social media has made the relationships between children and their parents even closer, because former hierarchical ties have broken down. Additionally, the usage of these technologies within families adds to the feeling of safety (we can always reach each other in case something bad happens) and the efficient coordination of busy schedules.
On the dark side: it makes us more concerned with the virtual world than with the world we are actually living in
Whereas technology has the beautiful capability to make people feel close together regardless of physical boundaries, it can simultaneously tear them apart. This results from the substitution rather than complementation effect of technology with our existing communication patterns. Instead of face to face conversations, people can nowadays make a phone call just as easily. This brings down the amount of face-to-face interactions we have on a daily basis. Moreover, the increased use of technology limits the time we have available for each other (Mohabat, 2017). Research already even shows that children can feel lonely, isolated and angry in homes where families are always on tech (Williamson, n.d.).
Looking at my own circles, It is not unlikely that you spent most of the time at your parents on your phone or laptop, communicating with people relatively far away, while forgetting about the ones that sit right next to you. A fair conclusion seems that the feared modern technologies have made the world smaller in terms of global interaction, but wider in terms of close relationships. It turns out, the fear of the Amish may be pretty grounded!
References:
Diebel, M. (2014, august 16). The Amish: 10 things you might not know. USA TODAY Retrieved 21-09-2019 via https://eu.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/08/15/amish-ten-things-you-need-to-know/14111249/
Hallab, B. (2016, march 15) . Does social media bring us closer together or further apart? Retrieved 21-09-2019 via https://www.thesocialclinic.com/does-social-media-bring-us-closer-together-or-further-apart/
Mohabat, M (2017). Technology Taking Over Our Family Bonding. Daily Sun. https://www.daily-sun.com/printversion/details/204293/Technology-Taking-Over-Our-Family-Bonding-
Quinian, A. (2018, july 26). How technology and social media is undermining family relationships. The Irish Times. Retrieved 21-09-2019 https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/parenting/how-technology-and-social-media-is-undermining-family-relationships-1.3568291
Williamson, K. (n.d.) 5 Ways Technology Has Negatively Affected Families. Howstuffworks Retrieved 23-08-2018 via https://electronics.howstuffworks.com/family-tech/tech-effects-on-family/5-ways-technology-has-negatively-affected-families.htm
Hi Hanne,
My personal appreciation for having chosen a topic so more and more actual and not always tackled in the most proper way. I have to admit you’ve just reminded me when I was living in my hometown and my mom strictly prohibited me and my brothers to watch tv or to check the mobile while we were gathering at the kitchen table! I used to hate this so much but few year later I would have thanked my mom so much for the lesson she taught us.
I truly believe that, as you pointed out, technology brings us together and helps familiar ties to hold on in the long run. I personally had the chance to experience this five years ago, when I had to live one thousand of kilometres far from home for the very first time. The Sunday’s Skype calls or even just the usual What’s App pics stolen from the daily routine made me feel my family so close to me. However, my point of view is almost and old school’s one: technology within relationships shorten distances, but that should be its only duty. As soon as you are physically close to the people you virtually reached thanks to technology, you have to get technology itself out of the context. In the same way it helps, technology can terribly depart and destroy familiar ties. That’s why I strongly hope for the resiliency of some core values like willingness to dialogue and genuine family unity.
Looking forward to hearing back your opinion!
All the best,
Francesco
HI Fransesco,
Thanks for sharing your personal thoughts on this. Excuse my delayed reply, as I just found out where I can find the comments to my post and that i still had to approve them before they appear. Nice conclusion that, as soon as families become physically close to each other, you have to get the technology out of the context. Assuming more people will arrive at this conclusion throughout the upcoming years, I wonder how this is going to be acted on in the future. The willingness to dialogue and genuine family unity seem to become less and less apparent within the family life, so I highly doubt that future generations will have such self control and awareness that there resilience is remained. Maybe targeted pedagogical ‘technology’ trainings for parents? Maybe a technology that can close certain applications or devices for a given group and time span, e.g. during dinner time for me, my brother and both of my parents? Let’s see what opportunities and challenges have risen when we are starting our own ‘families’!
Kind regards,
Hanne