Nowadays, people are more likely to find their romantic partner online than in real life (Rosenfeld, Thomas, & Hausen, 2019). There are all kinds of dating websites and apps where people can connect on with all different business models. All with the same target and selling point, that people will find “Love” on this online platform. Because who doesn’t want to find their romantic partner? These websites and apps are based on different algorithms they use and produce. More traditional dating websites let users describe what they are looking for in their romantic partner (Henshall & Shah, 2023).
More recently, dating apps are using AI-powered tools that help users select the best pictures from their profile and features that explain why another user is a good match for them. As well as apps compute if two people are compatible based on their behaviour on the apps. Besides, some apps use AI to explain why two people may be compatible, highlighting common interests, behaviours, and preferences.
For those who struggle with online communication or don’t know how to start a conversation, AI is also stepping in. Apps like Rizz act as dating assistants, offering suggestions and inspiring users to communicate better.
On the other hand, AI is now being used to improve safety. Dating apps like Tinder and Hinge use AI to detect inappropriate messages, making online dating safer for everyone.
Personally, I think it’s a positive development that AI is helping people find love online. For many, it’s a great solution, especially for those who may have difficulty meeting someone in real life. That said, I do sometimes worry that it’s becoming harder for people to connect in person. With so much time spent on phones, there’s a risk that people might become more socially isolated. Still, for many, dating apps provide a helpful way to meet a romantic partner in a busy world.
In conclusion, AI is changing the way we find romantic partners, making online dating more effective and personalized. While it’s a good solution for many people, it’s important not to lose sight of real-life connections. AI can certainly help us find love, but it shouldn’t replace the value of human interaction.
- Henshall, W., & Shah, S. (2023, 14 December). How Rizz Assistants and AI Matchmakers Are Transforming Dating. TIME. https://time.com/6457597/ai-dating/
- Rosenfeld, M. J., Thomas, R. J., & Hausen, S. (2019). Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 116(36), 17753-17758. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1908630116
I personally cannot imagine how AI can predict one’s perfect Tinder match. I think it is tough for digital apps to capture all the data needed and for AI to learn from this data, all for this perfect match.
Sure, an algorithm might learn that, in general, I prefer girls with dark hair instead of blond hair, but this preference is also really dependent on all the other characteristics of that person, my mood, time and day, and other subjective contextual/environmental factors (e.g., I just saw a billboard with an advertisment with a very attractive woman with blond hair, so now my preferences temporarily shift towards women with blond hair.). I feel like these subjective and context-specific factors can never be truly captured or learned with AI.
I think AI-powered dating apps will never become so accurate as they can do with other applications. Therefore, in my opinion, they will never replace the real thing of meeting people in real life.
Nevertheless, I think you wrote a very interesting blog post as it makes you think about the possibilities and limits AI has when fully integrated with daily life!
Hi Luuk,
Thankyou for your comment! You bring up a great point. On paper, AI might be able to match people who seem perfect for each other based on their preferences, interests, or even behavior patterns. For example, AI might decide that I’m more likely to connect with someone who shares similar hobbies or a preference for dark hair. But the reality is that human connection goes so much deeper than what can be captured in an algorithm.
In real life, chemistry is unpredictable. You could have everything in common with someone, and on paper, they seem like your perfect match, but when you meet in person, the spark just isn’t there. There are so many intangible factors—like body language, the way someone smiles, or how you feel around them—that AI just can’t predict. These things are spontaneous and emotional, and they’re the essence of what makes meeting someone special in real life.
So while AI might help filter through options or suggest matches that align with certain preferences, it’s still no substitute for that in-person connection. The real magic happens when two people meet face-to-face, and that’s something AI will never fully replicate.
Thank you for your interesting blogpost! I really like how you highlight the positive impact AI has on online dating while also acknowledging its potential downside. Your post got me thinking of other ways in which AI can help in dating. Maybe especially for people with social anxiety or those who are neurodivergent; AI could analyze text conversations and help the user navigate sensitive topics or offer other types of conversation coaching. Additionally, it could even offer them a virtual practice environment to give them a confidence boost before starting a real conversation or meeting someone in person.
I would also say AI could help moving the dating from online to offline by acting a date planner assistant; for example, recommending date spots based on both partner’s preferences or the conversation. Overall, I would say that although AI is already transforming online dating, there are still plenty of opportunities where it could innovate.
Hi Annabel,
Thankyou for your comment! Yes, I also think AI could help lots of people in the online dating environment.
Also with the movement from online to offline dating. There is this dating app called Breeze (I think it is created from a Dutch student in Delft), which has quite an interesting business model. Where if you match with a person you can’t talk to eachother. But within the app you can pay for your first drink and plan the date. And the app will then plan and reserve a location for you and your date. Which is really nice I think, because a lot of people are really hesitant with chatting or even lazy to plan a date. But with this app it makes it a lot easier for lots of people. And maybe even AI could be integrated within this app in some ways.
Thank you for posting this interesting blog Anna!
I agree with many of your points mentioned! It’s a great way to meet others, especially for people that have niche interests, that are looking for specific traits in other people or even for individuals where it’s harder to maybe find others (e.g.: queer community). I also really agree with your comment answering Luuk, chemistry is unpredictable in real life and I think dating apps should be a way of meeting people but should not replace the option of meeting others organically.
A point I would add to this blog, is the monetisation aspect of it and what is hidden behind these pay walls. I would also say that this is gradually getting worse. I have had conversations with friends that had jokingly sent me a like on Hinge and I only received it a week later. This shows that there is a true lack of transparency and a system to hold back features to its users. During that time I received multiple adds pushing me to pay to view who liked me. Additionally, if I don’t use the app for a certain amount of time, the moment I go back on it, I magically have a better app experience, it is very noticeable. It has even become a joke for some of my friends to only use it x amount per week/month to get a better user experience. I believe this could actually lead to the downfall of dating apps, and has already pushed many users to stop using them. I also do struggle a little with these apps monetising on people’s level of desperation to find someone, but I guess that’s every company’s goal, to provide a service/app and make profit out of it.