For centuries, humans have searched for “the one.” Fairy tales promised soulmates, Hollywood gave us cinematic love scenes, and philosophers debated whether love is fate or choice. Yet, there is something very unique about the dating scene of the 21st century: technologies are seriously disrupting the way people are building relationships, and we are not sure whether it’s for the best.
Gen Zers, for example, have almost abolished traditional ways of meeting their significant other through university, social gatherings, or bars. Prioritising efficiency and the comfort of one’s bed, people are now meeting on dating websites and apps. A Stanford University study found that in 2022, 50.5% of all new couples met online, up from just under 40% in 2017 and only 22% in 2009. More and more people are also choosing to skip committed relationships altogether, focusing instead on self-care, personal growth, or building their careers (Mitchell & Mitchell, 2025).
So why exactly young people prefer dating online?
Liesel Sharabi, PhD – an associate professor in the Hugh Downs School of Human Communication, has a mixed opinion of online dating. Speaking of positives, she admits that apps certainly expand people’s horizons. You might match with someone from a completely different social circle, someone you never would have met otherwise. Or you might instantly find someone to go out with after arriving in a new city, where approaching strangers in real life could feel awkward. Also, success stories do exist – many people do meet long-term partners online and report high level of satisfaction in those relationships (Chavda, 2025).
On top of that, online dating has been especially important for minorities whose chances of finding love often depend on these platforms. For example, people with disabilities, particularly those with mobility issues, find relief in being able to connect with others without the barriers that physical spaces might impose. Similarly, LGBTQ+ communities have long relied on dating apps as safe spaces to connect, especially in places where queer people might feel isolated, invisible, or even unsafe expressing their identities openly.
Dr Sharabi certainly also mentions negative aspects – couples are more likely to terminate their relationships when problems arise, instead of fixing things. With so many people creating profiles on dating apps, it starts to feel like meeting someone special isn’t scarce anymore and that “the grass is always greener” on the other side. Besides that, aspects like user’s safety, unhealthy focus on appearances and social stigma are also being touched upon. Still, overall, the pros and cons of online dating appear to be relatively well balanced.
AI entered the chat: does online dating have the potential to become dangerous?
Signing up on a dating app usually follows a familiar script. You start by picking a handful of photos that capture your best angles, then write a short bio to sum up who you are (or at least who you want to appear to be). With your digital self now ready, you are now swiping across other people’s profiles, initiate conversations and hope for them to respond back.
Now is when the real danger begins. Tech-savvy people can power their online dating experience with AI at almost every step. Instead of struggling with good old Photoshop, people can now give commands to GenAI to alter their features, whether it’s the background, or more personal things like clothes and hair color, to attract more users to their profile. Putting your heart into writing a bio is also no longer necessary: you can simply ask an AI copilot to browse through hundreds of sociological studies and generate a bio designed for maximal social success. The scariest part is that you don’t even need to spend time on the app interacting with people – chatbots that do this job already exist, completely erasing the authenticity of genuine human conversations. People familiar with some principles of software engineering can program their profile to such an extent that AI will swipe on people itself, chat with them itself, and even add appointments to your calendar with the time and place of the dates.
And this may only be the beginning. With more and more people showing interest in virtual reality and creating profiles in the metaverse, the risk is that dating might stop transitioning into offline life altogether. Instead of using apps as a bridge to meet in person, many could end up building entire relationships within digital worlds, where avatars replace real faces and interactions feel safe but detached from reality. Recent studies suggest that nearly half of men and a significant share of women are open to dating in the metaverse, drawn in by the promise of immersive environments and unlimited customization (Chakraborty et al., 2023).
And what can you do to make your dating experience meaningful in this digital world?
Balance might be the key. Although technology can be a fantastic tool for broadening your horizons, it shouldn’t take the place of the messy, flawed, and genuine aspects of developing a relationship. Use apps to connect, but instead of swiping endlessly, spend time getting to know the people you are matched with. Keep in mind that your special quirks and flaws are often what make you memorable, so be careful about how much you rely on AI to edit your photos or write your bio. Above all, whenever possible, take conversations offline because the chemistry of in-person interactions cannot be replicated by an avatar, chatbot, or algorithm. Ultimately, love still flourishes in the real world even though it may be changing.
Bibliography
Chakraborty, D., Patre, S., & Tiwari, D. (2023). Metaverse mingle: Discovering dating intentions in metaverse. Journal of Retailing and Consumer Services, 75, 103509. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jretconser.2023.103509
Chavda, J. (2025a, April 24). Key findings about online dating in the U.S. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/02/key-findings-about-online-dating-in-the-u-s/#:~:text=One%2Din%2Dten%20partnered%20adults,partnered%20LGB%20adults%20(24%25).
Mitchell, T., & Mitchell, T. (2025, April 24). Rising share of U.S. adults are living without a spouse or partner. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-share-of-u-s-adults-are-living-without-a-spouse-or-partner/
